WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats have proposed a controversial new law that would require vaccine passports for voting. The bill currently under deliberation in Congress would ban all forms of ID for voting — because that’s racist — but require voters to show their COVID-19 vaccine passport at polling places.
Republicans and Democrats alike were confused by the proposal, not sure if they agreed with it or not. “I like requiring people to show documentation to vote, but not like this, I don’t think,” said one Republican man in Georgia. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“No one should have to show documentation to vote,” said a liberal woman in Georgia. “Except, well, yeah, vaccination papers, I guess.”
“We must make sure the people who are voting are fully vaccinated against this incredibly deadly virus,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “They must wear full face masks, and of course, won’t be asked to show ID. We won’t know who they are, but we will know they are safe from COVID-19.”
“This is much better than that racist law in Georgia.”
At publishing time, Pelosi had admitted she hadn’t actually read Georgia’s election law, but declared that “we have to overturn it to find out what was in it.”