What Starbucks Is Doing Now Is Unforgivable, But Will You Still Drink Their Coffee?
Starbucks Using Hybrid Coffee “Super Beans” Crossbred With Nicotine To Increase Profits And Cause Intense Coffee Addiction.
U.S. Patent 6749882-B2: Coffee Drink Comprising Pre-Extracted Nicotine – is the patient at the center of the latest controversy for coffee supplier – Starbucks.
Due to a gluttony of new shops, Starbuck is struggling to attract new customers. “Profits are up. But, sales are down,” says coffee-watchdog Art Hauz. Mr. Hauz heads a small advocacy group, which follows coffee trends from growing to consumption.
“The joke exists,” laughs Art, “Starbucks are everywhere. You have Starbucks in supermarkets right next to Starbucks shops. It’s just too many, and they can’t fill them all.”
Art’s group recently uncovered business plans by Starbucks to begin using coffee beans containing nicotine recently developed in South America.
According to company documents, nicotine-laced coffee could reach their stores as early as Thanksgiving this year.
“They need new customers to get hooked quickly, and they need old customers to come back more often. So why not get everyone addicted to nicotine coffee.”
Coffee, as a drink containing caffeine, already holds some addictive qualities. Regular coffee drinkers feel withdrawal the longer they go between cups.
“Next, add in a touch of nicotine and you’ve got coffee-fueled zombies lurching around malls and Corporate America.”
Art helps us envision a world of angry hipsters shoving each other to get their double-pump, no-whip latte, and jittery teens driving wildly to score their chai Frappuccino extra sprinkles.
With over 1,600 new stores set to open this year, it should be easy to get your fix.
