EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM: Zombie Attack. The Ebola Virus Has Mutated.
Please stand by. This is a global emergency. The United States government has issued a warning starting at 8:30 am EST.
The dead have begun to rise and attack in largely populated areas.
It is recommended to stay out of large cities, get away as fast as possible and seek shelter. Ensure you have enough supplies for several weeks, possibly months if this is not under control in the next few hours.
Stay calm, as military troops have been dispatched to deal with the problem. Stay tuned to media outlets for more information.