FDA “Traces Of Semen Found In Starbucks Drinks Nationwide”.
This report coming out of Seattle claims that Starbucks had allegedly included semen in their drinks for the last 3 months, hoping to give their customers an added “boost” and “more flavor”.
According to a Huzlers report, the FDA has begun a thorough investigation to find out where this semen is coming from, making this their “top priority.”
“We cannot believe this,” says FDA inspector Jamison Fields. “This is disturbing, if I want to consume semen, I would just do a man. Who would have known I was consuming it through Starbucks.”
However, not everyone thinks this special sauce is a bad thing in their coffee. According to Jackie Sultana, a regular Starbucks customer, “If they are really using that then they should keep doing it. Their coffee is so damn good. I might just get a shot on the side.”
It is also speculated that the seasonal ‘Pumpkin Spice Latte’ is not only loaded with the special ingredient, but ground up crickets as well. The FDA is considering shutting down Starbucks production this week.